Just When You Think Your Day Couldn't Get Any Worse...

...you are met with Teacher Has Kids Tasting Flavored Condoms

Can I just freakin' vomit here? "Education" my big fat foot. Not in a MILLION years, jack, not in a million years.

Okay, I just have to do a dissertation on this. Before I begin, however, let me just state that I don't have a problem with your basic biological sex education under the proper circumstance (i.e. split sessions). This situation, however, is so fried that it goes beyond the pale. There is absolutely zero educational value in a kid sucking on a condom whose flavor resembles a Jolly Rancer.

That said, let's begin:

"The New Mexico Health Department is standing behind a sex-education teacher in Santa Fe who encouraged ninth-graders to taste flavored condoms.

According to a report in the Santa Fe New Mexican, parent Lisa Gallegos said that when her 15-year-old daughter balked at putting a condom in her mouth, instructor Tony Escudero told her, "Come on, sweetie, have a little fun." "

Okay, STOP. First of all, what in the samhill of all that is good and decent is this teacher doing? This is not sex-education, this is sex-eploitation. This has nothing to do with the biology of what goes where, or how a woman gets pregnant, or anything else that resembles scientific sex education. This is letting children test taste condoms. And the, "Come on, sweetie, have a little fun" comment? Hello?? I'd be down there so fast and in that man's face he wouldn't even know when Mama came in the room.

"Also, Gallegos quotes her daughter as saying when a male student expressed his disgust with homosexual activity, Escudero said, "Never say never, because you never know. Someday you might like it that way." "

Slap upside the head, I tell you! We are not even out of the third paragraph and already this guy comes across as a total sleaze. Keep in mind we are talking about 9th graders here, with the average age being 13-14 years old.

It sound to me like this dude is thinking 30 degress south of his waistline rather than with his mind, but I digress.

""I agree with sex ed 100 percent," Gallegos, whose daughter attends Santa Fe High School, told the paper. "I also teach it here at my home. But I think that was inappropriate and wrong 100 percent." "

Scha! You think?

"According to the report, Dorothy Danfelser, deputy director for the public-health division of the state Health Department, said she wrote Gallegos last week to say Escudero did nothing wrong.

"It had been investigated," Danfelser told the New Mexican. "There was no wrongdoing. I have no more comment. ... (Gallegos) may or may not agree with that, but that's her prerogative."

Both Danfelser and Escudero claim this was the first complaint he has received about his presentation, which he has been doing for years."

Okay, we don't have to think too hard about this one. We are talking about young teens...do you remember what *you* were like when you were a young teen? This kind of stuff is *fascinating* to someone with hormones raging from every corner of the earth, so do you really think, in general, the kids are going to complain? And all that aside, how many kids are going to rat on their teacher? This woman's daughter is, frankly, a very rare gem. I pray my daughter has as much guts (and good sense) as this kid.

""He didn't really tell them to just put (condoms) in their mouth," Danfelser said. "What he does, basically, in his classes, depending on the age appropriateness of the class, is to try to get them ... used to condoms and kind of destigmatize them."

To destigmatize them from what? What is the stigma, here? And why should a 9th grader have to be destigmatized from what is, basically, a sexual tool? How does licking flavored condoms enhance a child's education of the birds and the bees, hmm?

Jeeze. Moving right along...

""He tells them, if they're comfortable, they can open up the packages, they can touch them, they can stretch them out and those kind of things. And he has told them, if they're the flavored kind, they can go ahead and taste them if they want to. But it's generally to desensitize the whole stigma of 'Oh my God, it's a condom.'" "

Okay, I'm sorry, but I have to ask...what flavors are we talking here? Regular ol' cherry and grape, or something a bit more exotic? Razzle-dazzle, perhaps, or Privates Parfait? What about Lick'Em'Lime, or maybe Bursting Banana-Berry? As far as 'Oh my God, it's a condom!', do these teachers really think a 9th grader has absolutely no clue what a condom is? When societal sex is in your face nearly every minute of the day, how can one not know what a condom is?? Don't get me wrong: I hope there are kids out there whose sexual innocence has still been preserved, but we are talking about 21st century public American schools, here. Thanks to this fine institution in conjunction with Planned Parenthood (and yes, I have been to their website for teens, thankyouverymuch), there are probably some kids out there that could teach an adult a thing or two. I mean, does anyone else find this whole article as gross as I do, or am I living in bush in some remote outback somewhere? Harumph. I doubt even the remote little bushmen are safe from the far reaches of "flavored condoms" nowadays.

Can me and my kids say "private school"? Yes, I thought we could. If I have to give up the internet, stash, and our second car you bet it's private school.

Lord Jesus, come quickly...