Controversies and Misunderstandings
You know, I have thought long and hard about writing this post, mainly because there are a lot of people who read my blog who frequent the same needlework boards I do. The sweet, frosted side of me does not want to trespass netiquette and re-open old wounds, while my crunchy side, the one with all the fiber says, "Go for it".

Blame it on the gutsy chicken salad I had for lunch, because I'm "going for it".

Will someone please explain to me, why do people keep holding on to this imaginary thought there is a "topic police"? I really really really wish that concept would die. It's useless and annoying. Of course, I thought it *had* died, along with The Controversy, going the way of the wind like so many others have.

A little history: the whole 'labeling of threads' was not to censor of keep anyone from posting whatever they wanted, it was merely a suggestion made during a time when the subject matter of threads in a title were innoculous and tensions were flying high. Controversies were errupting all over the board. During a casual conversation with one of the mods, I made the suggestion that perhaps the labeling of threads might help people decipher the topic better, as well as identifying any hotbeds some might choose to otherwise ignore. Nothing more, nothing less.

Well, good Gussie, you would have thought I suggested everyone fly the Stars and Bars over their heads and march down the street screaming "Dixie Land" at the top of their lungs for the way it was received. Along with the mods, I got accused of hating controversy, wanting to censor people, being a member of the "topic police", being stupid, babying people, being too politically correct (now, this one made me laugh. As a conservative Christian, I've been called many things but *never* politically correct!) and all kinds of idiotic things, blah blah blah ad nauseum. Fortunately, there were some even-thinking people who understood the principle behind the suggestion, whether or not if they agreed with the actual implementation. I never told them, but they meant so much to me during that time. I love that board, and I love the members, even the ones I disagree with on many issues. It really hurt to be the subject of such attack, but I thought it would help me grow a tougher skin.


Fast forward several months, and everything seems back to normal...or at least, I thought it was. Yes, I should be over it, and for the most part I am but I still get vastly annoyed when the term "topic police" comes up. Reading WG's blog this morning really sparked a fire in me I thought had died, but alas it had only quieted into a smolder.

Alas, it seems that tough skin of mine is not so tough after all. Looks like WG and I can both use a healthy dose of shoe-leather right about now. I feel for her. I feel for her very much. Many of the people on the needlework boards I have come to think of as friends. I have not met a single one of them, and yet I know their names, where they live, their children's names, their pets names, their passions, dreams, pains, and desires. I grieve with them when they ache and celebrate with them when they rejoice.

Nearly two years ago someone I was very, very close with was one of the BBers. I actually had the rare priviledge of speaking with her on the phone. Time passed, and she eventually became very cold to me (something she admitted to me at a later time), because she felt I did not want to have anything to do with her. This was certainly not true, but I had cut my computer time by 90% because I was pregnant with my second child and I was battling morning sickness. Being at the computer only amplified my yuckiness, so I just did not get on it. Before that time we used to e-mail each other several times a day, but due to work loads we had started cutting back our e-mails; life just happened. After I got pregnant, our e-mails became scarce, and now they are non-existent, all because of a misunderstanding. I don't blame her for feeling the way she did, but I did try to make amends. Things just fizzled after that, and I miss her. She does not post much anymore due to work pressures, but things will never be the same.

It's funny...I have not thought of this in a long time. It's interesting how focusing on thoughts of one subject can morph into thought on another. I'm not angry over the "topic police" anymore, just a little sad. Perhaps that whole thing was also born out of a misunderstanding of motives and intents. Are we, the human condition, really so quick to offend and be offended?

Yes, we are. We really are. With that realization, however, comes the hope that once the ailment is identified the medicine can be found and ingested, making us whole once again, ready to face other misunderstandings and disappointments...but, perhaps this time, with a much stronger constitution.

Perhaps that which does not kills us makes us stronger, after all.